Cant do this!

I feel really strange and low today, and i don't know why! I have always had a crazy loud family, well what do you expect when there is 5 children, 3 cats , 1 dog and 2 adults.But after what happened to my brother and my mam, things got worse, its been 3 years sine that happen and now i cant cope any more. I wake up to get screamed at, hit and kicked, then to go to school and to get shouted at for something i did the day before. Then i go home to get shouted at and hit then i go to get and it all starts again!
People say to me it will get better, or always look on the bright side. They have been saying this of 3 year and i cant do this any more. I cant pertend everything is alright any more! People looking in on my life would say, well just walk away, don't listen to him. People don't understand that he will follow us, pounding on the door till it caves in! i am scared of him when he goes off on one of his rages, really scared. I tell people and they don't believe me or think I'm making things out to be worse than they actual are. But I'm not, i really cant do it any more. My mam trys to control my brother but she is scared of him to, he will hit her and call her worse that shit!
I CANT DO THIS!!

Phoebe xx

Hey..... do you remeber me?

Have not been on hear in such a long time!! I keep telling my self, i will write a post, but i never have time or I'm always down. I'm having a really hard time at the minuet with my family, my little brother is getting more and more violent and saying worse things. i feel no one is taking me seriously when i say i cant take it any more, i think there just waiting till i crumble under the perisher! People tell me to smile and every thing will be all right but it never is, i don't think things will ever get better, the sooner I'm 16 the better, the sooner i can move out for good! The sooner i can live my own life with out getting called names  every day or getting hit or kicked every day!
Love
Phoebe xxx