Worries

I pretty much spend my hole life worrying about my family, friends and people I have nothing to do with. Worrying is my way of coping with things, but its not a good thing because it makes me more up set and down!
Love Phoebe xxx

Money

Well today I went shopping to get some new cloths as I have lost weigh and I am really proud of my self! I still have about a stone to lose but I'm getting their. Today I have had a really fat day so tomorrow I really need to get my dite back on track!
Love Phoebe xxxz

Tonight

Sitting watching tonight with my mother, sitting in tears watching this about Tia Sharp and how her step grandad killed her! Honest to god people that hurt children should rot in jail. People that say child killers, rapist and people like the men that killed the soldier on Tuseday should be put to death, all I have to say to this is that's the easy way out, not having to face up to what they did, and leaving every one else to pick up the pieces!

welcome back

It has been months since I talked hear, how have you all been? Lately I have been having a bit of a hard time, life just seams to be getting me down all the time! I have been falling out with friends and family, I just feel so alone all the time, I know what your going to say, I'm just a teenager, it's just your hormones but it's got to be something more than that honestly it is! It's not jus hormones that are making me feel this shit!

Have a good time, smile and be happy
Love Phoebe xx

Cant do this!

I feel really strange and low today, and i don't know why! I have always had a crazy loud family, well what do you expect when there is 5 children, 3 cats , 1 dog and 2 adults.But after what happened to my brother and my mam, things got worse, its been 3 years sine that happen and now i cant cope any more. I wake up to get screamed at, hit and kicked, then to go to school and to get shouted at for something i did the day before. Then i go home to get shouted at and hit then i go to get and it all starts again!
People say to me it will get better, or always look on the bright side. They have been saying this of 3 year and i cant do this any more. I cant pertend everything is alright any more! People looking in on my life would say, well just walk away, don't listen to him. People don't understand that he will follow us, pounding on the door till it caves in! i am scared of him when he goes off on one of his rages, really scared. I tell people and they don't believe me or think I'm making things out to be worse than they actual are. But I'm not, i really cant do it any more. My mam trys to control my brother but she is scared of him to, he will hit her and call her worse that shit!
I CANT DO THIS!!

Phoebe xx

Hey..... do you remeber me?

Have not been on hear in such a long time!! I keep telling my self, i will write a post, but i never have time or I'm always down. I'm having a really hard time at the minuet with my family, my little brother is getting more and more violent and saying worse things. i feel no one is taking me seriously when i say i cant take it any more, i think there just waiting till i crumble under the perisher! People tell me to smile and every thing will be all right but it never is, i don't think things will ever get better, the sooner I'm 16 the better, the sooner i can move out for good! The sooner i can live my own life with out getting called names  every day or getting hit or kicked every day!
Love
Phoebe xxx

Christmas!

Thank you mammy love my kindle!

Mammy and Frankie on Christmas Day

The neackless mammy got me! Wanted one all year!

Well its Boxing day Christmas has been i cant belive how quick this year has went by. Thank you mam and dad for every thing i got, especialy my kindle fire and my cross neackless! It would have been a lovely day if i was well, but i was sick all day Christmas day, did not even eat Christmas dinner. I normaly eat every thing. Even though i was ill i had an amazing day spent with family, no one was fighting at my nanas all the kids had a go on the wii, it was such a good day. Because every one is still ill today, we are having boxing day on friday, hopefuly we will all be better!





Love Phoebe xx

I'm sorry just been doing lots of things and i have really missed posting! Nothing really to report except my life is shit! Everything is going wrong! School are getting involved where they are not wanted, and social workers may be coming back into my life. For any one that did not know when my brother was attracted and my mam started drinking loads social works came in to our lives for the first time and where with us from about Jan 2011 till may 201. My mam stop drinking and they said we where fine healthy and safe! (witch we all ways were! My mam is a good mother). But now they believe my little brother Finlay is putting us at risk because of the way he acts! I had bruises up my arm last week because he gaped me! Sick of it!
I am still doing gang show and it hard work but it worth it! I get to be a cat and a train, Frankie is not 10 months! Shes really big and is standing by her self and walks along the anything she can.
Days till gang show: 44 (getting scared!! )
Days till Christmas: 72!
Love phoebe xx

Explores hand

Went to explores tonight but cold not do much because of my hand -.- Loads of homework to do!

Days till gang show:67

Days till Christmas:103

Phoebe xx

OMG

OMG im so sorry, just need time away!
Normal posts as of tomorrow
Days till gang show starts: 68!!
Days till Christmas: 103 days
 Phoebe xxxx

Late Ill Shopping x

Late i know, but today i have been ill! I really hate being ill. Any way today i want shopping with my mam and got her a cute cup from me and frankie, that says i love mammy. And then today i have sat for 4 hours doing home work and i have more to do tomorrow! :(

Days till Christmas: 108

Phoebexx

Nothing

Did nothing today just went to school and explores. It was my first night but it was fun. 

Days till Christmas:109

Phoebe xx

Holly Josh and the rabbit

Well today has been really strange! I came home form St Johns tonight, to find out i left my maths homework at the church. So Holly said she would come and drop it off for me as she was dropping Josh off. But the they fell in love with my dog and kitten. The lady from round the street came up to me and said has your rabbit gone missing and i said yes. So me Holly and Josh went looking for it after about 20 minuets we found him under a car, he was bleeding from his leg and we lay on the floor, me, Holly, Josh, Finlay, and the people that owned the car for about half an hour till we got him. Me and Holly could not stop laughing!

Days till Christmas: 110

Phoebe xx

So much for new start! :(

So much for new year new start!! 

We in base and a phone call home with in 5 minuets of being in school! And was sent home to dye my hair! Dyed it 3 times in the space of an hour and a half. But on the plus side i was only in one and a half lessons! But i did have to take out my nose stud!
:( 
Since school started to today im going to do a new count down and its going to be days till Christmas! 

SO Days till Christmas:111! 

Phoebe xxx

Dance!

Right well today, i had young leadres and  dance! Im so taird form dance! But im sitting hear so so so scared to go to school tomorrow, im really upset. What is the point of going to a place where every one hates you!!

Days till school tomorrow!! :(

Phoebe xx

Laura

Right well today i went to beamish, it was really fun! We got loads of sweets and got to pet a horse! Laura, Laurens friend is staying tonight then tomorrow we are going to get ready for school! -.-

Days till school:2!

Phoebe xxx

Gang show! Frances

Right well today was the first day of the gang show, its really fun! But then me and Lauren had a fight and she really hurt my arm! But to day my sister is 9 mounts old!
Can you believe it 9 mounts old! She is so big and clever and she can crawl and go up the stairs! My little sister Frances means the world to me! Shes amazing! Babe we can rule the world!

Days till school:3!

Phoebe xxxx

Better but help me!

Right well for one i made up with Holly and Michael, witch i'm really happy about because i normally fuck everything up and it stays fucked up! I went to pick up my little brother witch was ok, and then we had a takeaway again! We are such fat people!
Then i told my mam i want to change my religion, you see at the minuet in Roman Catholic and i dont believe in any of the teachings or that the pope is any closer to god than me. I have thought about this for quite some time and i have come to the conclusion i want to become Church of England instead. I have looked in to it allot and i feel that this is better for me! But when i told my mam she started kick off calling me ungrateful and saying i was not allowed to change my religion and if i did, she would not come to my baptism or any thing! But the thing is its my religion and its not like im just being silly and not wanting to go to the same church as everyone else for nothing, i really believe in this!
So help me! What would you do!

Days till school:4

Phoebe xxx

Shit!

Today was quite good until i went and fucked everything up again! With Holly and Micheal and Josh! Why am i such a silly child???

Days till school: 5!

Phoebe xxx